The Only Way To Change Your Life (For Real This Time)
Tried and tested by yours truly.
This read is nothing groundbreaking, but it will shake you out of your rut. It shook me. If you’re sick of spinning your wheels, these principles are the wake-up call you didn’t know you needed.
It took me an embarrassingly long time to truly understand this and convert it from mental clutter (data) to a part of my subconscious (programming). In other words, from knowing to being.
1. Radical Accountability & Self-Awareness
One painful truth needs to be very clear: where you are is your responsibility—no one else’s. Yeah, it is hard to admit that it is all you and your choices. Not your parents. Not society. Undeniably, traumatic events of childhood and social conditioning play a part, but there comes a time when one must recognise that old conditioning is just that - old. Fake outdated beliefs. Here is the liberating part: if the problem is you, the solution is also you.
2. Impulse Control
Every time you reach for a snack, remote control, your phone, booze, whatever. Ask yourself a question: will it make me healthier, fitter, smarter, more stable or happier tomorrow? If the honest answer is no, don’t do it. That’s all. Your feelings will try to override it. In that case, refer to #4 below.
3. Your Comfort Zone Will Kill You.
You already know this: growth requires doing hard things. Not many people are willing to do hard things. That is why not many people are successful or living the life they want. If you are not slightly afraid, out of depth or embarrassed daily, you are likely stuck in your comfort zone. Sacrifice your comfort for your dreams, or sacrifice your dreams for your comfort. Simple.
4. F\/ck Your Feelings.
Do you feel like watching Netflix instead of finishing a project? Do you feel like snoozing instead of getting up and getting on with your day? Do you feel like eating a doughnut and don’t feel like exercising? F\/ck your feelings. Get into your gym gear. Don’t let your feelings get in the way. The same rule applies when you feel inadequate, sacred, like an imposter, like people will judge you. #FYF and move.
5. Make A Plan And Stick To It - No Matter What.
Create a routine for each day and stick to it even if you do not feel like it (read #4 again). Don’t go to bed until you accomplish every damn thing on that list. The list must be a feasible one. Be realistic - it is key. The goal is to get a sense of achievement every time you cross things off the list. It will train your brain to do more. Trust me. That is how dopamine works. “The Molecule of More” they call it for a reason. The more you accomplish, the more you will want to accomplish. Procrastination will evaporate. Just like your willpower evaporates in front of that doughnut you feel like eating or a large glass of Bordeaux after a stressful day. Your brain will crave more dopamine and you will do what your brain tells you to.
6. The 8th wonder of the world: Compounding.
If you are the kind of person burdened with logic and intelligence, this will motivate you because you know that it is a mathematical certainty that things compound if you keep at it. Every action in a positive direction will compound, no matter how small. Sadly, the same applies to inaction. Just don’t quit. The longer you don’t quit, the more profound the effect will be.
A few more tricks 🧩
Create accountability. Share it with the world. If you worry about what other people think, like most of us do, share your achievements with your IG or LinkedIn. Let them know what you set out to achieve. Keep them updated. Your ego will push you forward when motivation fails.
Focus. Block out noise and distractions. Work in 90-minute increments. Or 60-minute. Or 30 minutes if you are neurodivergent. Put sound-cancelling earphones on, put binaural beats on, put your phone on silent, put a hat on, whatever. Do not break your focus, even if the room is on fire before the time is up.
Finally, stop reading this article and other similar articles where people tell you how to do stuff. Go and do stuff. If you’re like me, you have probably read a million self-help articles and books. That is why the algorithm recommended you to read this one. Chances are, you have implemented none of the lessons in your actual life so far. All the knowledge in the world is useless unless you use it. Everything you want to know is one Chat GPT search away. There is too much information and not enough ACTION.
Conclusion
Every transformation happens in stages. First, you realise something isn’t working. If you’re lucky, this is a gentle nudge. If you’re like me, you ignore the nudges until life punches you in the gut.
After some amount of self-pity, next comes the second stage - learning. You will be immersed in learning everything you need to know to effect change in your life. From spiritual practices and mindset to actual new skills.
Then comes the third stage - implementation. After you have read enough books, watched enough YouTube videos and read articles like this one, you already know everything. Any more is just mental mast\/rbation. Time to step out of your comfort zone. This stage is crucial. Nothing changes until you move. Actions create reality. If you want a different life, act differently.
You don’t lack information. You lack courage.